Property of Vicious (semchance) wrote in backroom_crack,
Property of Vicious


Because people sometimes ask questions, here shall go a Frequently Asked Questions post. All the questions here were asked at least once... mostly. Feel free to comment here with more questions or things that just generally don't make sense.

Because Sem is not strictly finished with her homework, and because she's generally too busy to keep an eye on this sort of thing, Cain C Hargreaves and his cohort have graciously offered to take care of the FAQ section. Have fear of it.

1) Who is allowed to use The Backroom in fics? Everyone? People with explicit permission?
Cain: Anyone can use The Backroom. As long as Riff is the bartender and Gren is on entertainment
Sem: Brownie points awarded if Cain is somewhere in the background giggling about blowing something up.
Cain: Oi, you! Leave! I'm doing these!

2) Is the focus on anime/manga, or is that just how it started?
Cain: Anime/manga is just how it started, but whatever gets branched off of it is perfectly fine. If people request different stuff, then that can be provided for. I'm guessing that it's going to stay pretty anime/manga-centric, though, just given the tastes of people who know about it.

3) Can I post random things that were not requested? Or should I keep random crack in my own journal?
Riff: If you use The Backroom in a random crack fic, let me know and I'll link it up as a request you had for yourself. If you don't use it, then it's just one of your more randomer crack!fics, and it doesn't get to come live with us.
Cain: Unless you actually request it of yourself. But then there are other issues to be dealing with.

4) Is it required that fics contain a pairing?
Cain: No, unless that's what's requested. It's required that they contain crack.

5) Is there a restriction on ratings?
Cain: No, just be sure anything over PG is marked as such.

6) Should people requesting fics specify their rating tolerance?
Cain: Yes. Otherwise they will get NC-17 on their G-asses. Accidently.

7) What is the standard format for requests?
Cain: Yes. And it will be posted. Eventually.

8) Is The Backroom a gay bar?
Cain: No. It just scares women. Some people blame Orochimaru, but he scares everyone. Most people blame the fact that most of the bishounen hanging out at the bar have boyfriends, which keeps away women who’d rather leave with a fuck buddy than the need to go find a prostitute to molest because of frustration.

9) Are pets allowed in The Backroom?
Riff: Absolutely not for any reason is anyone allowed to bring animals in. I wax these floors myself.
Cain: If you have my special permission, it's fine. I'll just twist Riff's arm. If you don't have my permission, you should know that Riff has full access to my poison collection.

10) Is it okay if new characters (as in, characters who have not been there before) mistake it for a gay bar?
Cain: Yes. In fact, they seem to. Women seem to mistake it more than men do. It's just something about the high concentration of clearly gay men hanging around and hitting on each other that gives off the impression, I guess.

11) Cain, why do you hang out with so many gay men?
Cain: Because my girlfriend's dead, and I can now damn well swing any way I please. Bitches.

12) Does The Backroom serve anything virgin?
Riff: Yes. We keep the bar stocked with all sorts of alcohol, but we also specialize in virgin drinks, tea, and ice cream. On Sunday afternoons, we also bring in pancakes.
Merriweather: I thought to have ice cream and pancakes!

13) Can anyone make a request, and can anyone fill it?
Cain: Anyone can make a request, because anyone can wander in off the street at any given moment and demand that we serve them. It's a right, or something. The 22nd Amendment?
Sem: The 21st, bitches.
Riff: Anyone working for The Backroom (our team of baristas) can fill an order. If, for some unexpected reason, none of our baristas are able to complete an order, we may ask for outside help. As a general rule, though, only the baristas are going to be writing anything.
Cain: We do, however, accept donations. If you have some crack which somehow has The Backroom in it, we'll be happy to put up a link for you.

14) And just who are the baristas?
Cain: Now, see, the real question is, if I hit you over the head with something very blunt and painful, would you notice? Would you??
Riff: Ahem.
Cain: Sorry.
Riff: Baristas are the people who are actually members. As of 14.Jan.05, the baristas are Sem, Fade, Mo, and Silver.

15) Will new baristas be added?
Riff: If one of our baristas quits or is for some reason fired, we'll open up membership and take on a replacement. There will be 4 baristas until a total of 10 people have friended The Backroom. Once an 11th person friends, we'll take on another barista until the total hits 20, etc.

16) I know you're open on Tuesday mornings. Care to explain?
Riff: Because of the extra help we've recently recieved, we've decided to remain open on weekday mornings, then close for lunch and reopen in the evenings. The bar is closed in the morning, but tea may be requested, as well as an assortment of breakfast munchies.

17)Why is Merriweather making decisions when she's not even allowed in the bar?
Merriweather: Big brother loves me very much and always takes my opinion into account!
Cain: Pretty much. We wouldn't have heard the end of it if we hadn't agreed to it.

18) Does the hotel across the street have a name?
Cain: Yes. It's named the 'Duquesa de Cardona' and it's run by my friend Baron Oscar Gabriel.

19) Is there dancing at The Backroom?
Cain: No. I will not allow it. Go to the club upstairs for your stupid dancing.

20) Does the club upstairs have a name?
Cain: Yes. It's named 'The Discotheque' and it's run by my little-brother-figure Artemis Fowl.

21)Is The Discotheque as old as The Backroom, or did it come later?
Cain: Well, it came after I adopted Artemis, but it was around when Riff was a boy and his father secretly ran a... but it was aroud befo... yes.
Riff: The Backroom has been in the family for generations. The Discotheque is a recently aquired purchase belonging to Artemis Fowl II, renovated from two large suites into a club to complement The Backroom.

22) Does The Backroom exist outside of time?
Cain: Yes. Out of fandom, out of canon, out of time.

More will be added as you all ask about things. Ta ta!
last update 21.Aug.2006 @ 9.15
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